Four recent flies

My virginity is still lost somewhere in Athens, Greece.
After serving my hippie time
for marijuana possession
I admit I was happy that prisons exist.
I didn’t need rehabilitation then
like so many of those assholes.
I must have driven drunk a thousand times
after my military discharge
without getting a DUI.
A cop in Phoenix in the early 70s
turned on his lights
& he had me follow him to a 24 hour coffee shop
& he told the waitresses
to make sure I drank a pot of coffee
before I got back in my car.
My caffeinated thank yous
to waitresses everywhere.
I went to India on a spiritual pilgrimage after I got sober.
I worry less as a result.
I told my VA boss to go fuck himself
but I said it in a way to help him improve his supervisory skills.
A surgical scar on my nose gives me street cred,
my 4 divorces gives some women
the impression that I’m a stud.
My homegrown tomatoes are the sweetest,
my pasta sauce the tastiest.
I grow mint & parsley to make my own tabouli.