2 shots of Pfizer and I’m hung over

I walk
like I’m in waves in the ocean
that are swaying me all around

this vaccination
is a disease unto itself

my wife has a high temperature

I’m as loopy as a lifesaver
crunch on a red one, there goes my brain

and I’m getting so tired…
so tired…

not a good tired either
more like I’m turning into Pfizer dust
I don’t wanna get up and go to the bathroom

I lay on my side
with my head away from the TV
and listen to the baseball game
the announcer calls the game
low and inside for ball one
just like how I feel
lazy night at the ballpark
the muted huzz of the crowd,
the hecklers
the sound of a foul ball
outta play
and I’m asleep
the announcer’s excitement
wakes me when my team wins
oh my god I gotta reach for the remote
phew it’s right beside me
I turn off the tv
the remote slips outta my hand
onto the floor
I’ll get it in the morning I think
the next day the symptoms will be gone
I don’t remember falling asleep
I just pass out into the Pfizer abyss

I’m awake the next day and I don’t pick up the remote
I feel the same
so does my wife
her temperature has been down
so it’s not Covid
which we can still get for another ten days—even after this Pfizering— hurray!

this house has been Pfizered
I tell the cat she is in charge
I hope she’s makes me breakfast
after we give her hers

in a daze
I go out on the deck and keep thinking I’m going to fall over it
I am the smoke dissipating
in Pfizer land

nobody wants to cook dinner
which is ok because you can’t eat anyway

we are inoculated into sickness
would just getting covid have been easier
na I don’t wanna maybe die
I’ll stay pfizered
the sound of the truck exhaust like a fart in the wind
which is me flatulating through the air

drink lots of water
even though it hurts to move your arm
inoculation nation
almost too tired to wave the flag
to get the shot

carry my wound
like I have been shot
because I have
I have been Pfizered
I just got up and I better get back to bed
even though there’s not one there
just a swamp of Pfizer
to lay in
I’m vaccinated
I played it safe
and it’s killing me
no regrets though
I’m glad covid can kiss my Pfizered ass